What really happens when a lady is restricted from having male friends

A lady has taken to social media to narrate the story of her childhood, as a girl child growing up in a Christian home in Nigeria.

She narrated how her parents restricted her and she was constantly watched, while her brother enjoyed the privilege of doing almost all what she wasn’t permitted to do. She said she was prevented from having male friends as well as going out.

MY PARENTS RESTRICTED ME FROM HAVING MALE FRIENDS, BUT MY BROTHER HAD ALL THE PRIVILEGES UNTIL HE GRADUATED ABROAD AND BROUGHT A WHITE MAN AS HIS PARTNER — NIGERIAN FEMINIST SHARES HER EXPERIENCE GROWING UP

A lady has taken to social media to narrate the story of her childhood, as a girl child growing up in a Christian home in Nigeria.

She narrated how her parents restricted her and she was constantly watched, while her brother enjoyed the privilege of doing almost all what she wasn’t permitted to do. She said she was prevented from having male friends as well as going out.

 

In the concluded part, she said though it affected her self-esteem, she still made a way for herself but felt bad because she was denied the privilege of becoming one of the best lawyers in the country. As for her brother, he succeeded but almost gave their parents heart attack after he brought home a white man as his partner.

READ HER STORY.

They say a child is a blessing to the family. As a girl child, I grew up in a strong Christian home. Am the first child of my parents and am charged with the responsibility of setting examples for my younger siblings.

I’m not permitted to have male friends or be seen talking with one. Once that happens, they term you “promiscuous”. My immediate younger brother is allowed to do his wish. His best friend is our neighbour, Nneka. I grew up being compared to my brother. How quiet and intelligent he is and how flippant and ignorant I am. I lost my self confidence at a young age.

 

I find it hard communicating with my peers and sharing ideas. Gradually, I withdrew to my shell and only uttered words when spoken to. Living in my brother’s shadow was a bit comforting cause no one saw me but only him. Then came high school. We went to separate boarding schools.

As a junior student, life was terrible for me. I was constantly abused by those in higher classes. One in particular took a liking to me. She made me sleep with her on the same bed every night but I got no sleep because she kept me awake to pleasure her. Too scared to voice out, I took all the pain and pretended to be fine.I pleaded with Mom for a change in school but fell on deaf ears meanwhile my brother complained and wanted attending a unisex school and his bidding was immediately granted. I guess my weakness was perceived by my peers because I was constantly ridiculed of my dark skin colour and facial structure.There was no night I didnt cry myself to sleep. Thankfully, I graduated high school and gained admission into a federal university. But my brother went to the best private university. My Dad instructed me to study mass communication even when i wanted to study Law.

HOMELIFE STYLEMY PARENTS RESTRICTED ME FROM HAVING MALE FRIENDS, BUT MY BROTHER HAD ALL THE PRIVILEGES UNTIL HE GRADUATED ABROAD AND BROUGHT A WHITE MAN AS HIS PARTNER — NIGERIAN FEMINIST SHARES HER EXPERIENCE GROWING UP

A lady has taken to social media to narrate the story of her childhood, as a girl child growing up in a Christian home in Nigeria.

She narrated how her parents restricted her and she was constantly watched, while her brother enjoyed the privilege of doing almost all what she wasn’t permitted to do. She said she was prevented from having male friends as well as going out.

 

In the concluded part, she said though it affected her self-esteem, she still made a way for herself but felt bad because she was denied the privilege of becoming one of the best lawyers in the country. As for her brother, he succeeded but almost gave their parents heart attack after he brought home a white man as his partner.

READ HER STORY.

They say a child is a blessing to the family. As a girl child, I grew up in a strong Christian home. Am the first child of my parents and am charged with the responsibility of setting examples for my younger siblings.

I’m not permitted to have male friends or be seen talking with one. Once that happens, they term you “promiscuous”. My immediate younger brother is allowed to do his wish. His best friend is our neighbour, Nneka. I grew up being compared to my brother. How quiet and intelligent he is and how flippant and ignorant I am. I lost my self confidence at a young age.

 

I find it hard communicating with my peers and sharing ideas. Gradually, I withdrew to my shell and only uttered words when spoken to. Living in my brother’s shadow was a bit comforting cause no one saw me but only him. Then came high school. We went to separate boarding schools.

As a junior student, life was terrible for me. I was constantly abused by those in higher classes. One in particular took a liking to me. She made me sleep with her on the same bed every night but I got no sleep because she kept me awake to pleasure her. Too scared to voice out, I took all the pain and pretended to be fine.

 

I pleaded with Mom for a change in school but fell on deaf ears meanwhile my brother complained and wanted attending a unisex school and his bidding was immediately granted. I guess my weakness was perceived by my peers because I was constantly ridiculed of my dark skin colour and facial structure.

There was no night I didnt cry myself to sleep. Thankfully, I graduated high school and gained admission into a federal university. But my brother went to the best private university. My Dad instructed me to study mass communication even when i wanted to study Law.

 

He doubted my ability to succeed in the field but my brother was encouraged to study Medicine as against Laboratory science, his initial choice. The strike held me up for a year and my brother continued schooling and making my parents proud. I shyed away from relationships and avoided social gatherings.

I knew no one would find it fun hanging out with me. I graduated from the university and taught at a primary school during my mandatory service year. I envied my younger brother not just because of the love my parents had for him but also his extent of success. My Mother started probing me to get married.The same mother who forbid me from going into a relationship. Does husbands fall from the sky?. My aunties tried match making me with some men but those men didn’t find me attractive and worth dating. I celebrated my late twenties under my parents roof.

My brother became a successful doctor and came home after his scholarship program abroad with a white man as his choice of partner. My parents almost died of heart attack. The same beloved son brought pain to their heart. No one thought my brother was capable of doing such.

What about me? My parents not only succeeded in shattering my self esteem, but they ended up ruining the hope of becoming one of the best lawyers the country could ever have. I know a lot of girl children could be going through this same predicament but I want to tell them not to loose hope. I am starting my life afresh and building myself to be the very best version of me.

Story by: Rusco